oh well. been rather busy these few days. 1stly, investiture. had rehersal on thursday and what a response i got from the councillors. out of 35 of them, only 24 came. expecting all to come lar! how am i suppose to conduct a rehersal when everyone is not here? oh well. i just continued with the whole thing and i found out it din go on as planned. think mr yip and mrs naidu were quite pissed at tt time. wad to do. my fault lar. haiz. at least we managed to finalised the way to walk down. den we all went home. sooo tired lar tt day. 2 tests and the next day still got 1 more test. oh well. tt night slept rather late. haiz.

next up was sonicfest. oh man! wasted the taxi trip there coz when we arrived there, planet shakers were not up on stage yet. it was some unknown local band which made me feel tt they were performing rather than worshipping. its like they asked everyone to stand and there they are singing songs which no one knew. so everyone juz stood and looked at them. cheered when they ended. planet shakers went on stage at 8pm. oh man! they received great response from the people there. and they sang "open up the gates" first. oh man! wad a great song. and they ended with "running after you". expected them to sing more songs from the album "all that i want" but they din. oh well. at least i felt God's presence there at tt time. next up was sonicflood. oh well. think they made it more of a concert than a worship session. they keep jumping and action-ing around. den 1 pt in time they "showed off" they skills. dunno lar ttz my perception lar. left straight after sonicflood ended. not to mention i met one of the one camp grp members there. primrose. haha! oh man. she's grown! sideways though haha! oh well. met other ppl too.

yesterday was teacher parent meeting. oh man my teacher told my parents to have the right to control my studies and my time on the computer. oh man. this means tt i might have less time using the comp already. so sad. oh well. ttz not the main thing tt day. after tt went for fairfield founder's day service cum graduation service. oh man! only less den half my class turned up for the service. worst still. only 7 of us stayed for the dinner. i understand why coz the food and service were not say tt good, considering $50. at least managed to take some photos and catch up with friends tt i din see for some time. went home rather late yesterday.

today format x. juwita suwito came to sing a few songs for us. her voice is damn powerful man! oh well. dunno whether it was appopriate for her to come. it doesn't seem like an evangelistic stuff leh. but oh well hafta appreciate her for coming and taking the effort to sing for us.

oh man got camp from 1 - 3 august. outdoor adventure camp organised by my school. right in the middle of the school term. how smart. oh well at least we are given some time to rest and relax. oh man! we are doing belaying!!! oh man! so excited. scared at the same time though. scared i i never hold the rope properly den i cause someone's death. oh man! it will be so tragic! wad will happen if it was me who die? haiz shouldn't be thinking of such stuff. trust in God!! so much things to bring lar! haiz. thank goodness my dad agreed to fetch me to school tomorrow. if not i'll die halfway through the trip lor! i'm soo weak.

FOP in 5 days time!!! for me 6 lar since i going for the saturday one. looking forward to it man! me and jonas will be kiasu for tt day. haha! u'll find out soon though. =D

Father Lord watch over all Innovians as we go about our camp for the next few days. May it be an enjoyable time and no work from satan shall bestow upon us. Watch over us Lord. Pray all this in Jesus Name AMEN!

you know what happens when a wire with current touches you? you get a shock. thats what happened to me yesterday. not literally though. it was during council meeting when they told us who the exco members were. i was like sitting down there waiting for the 5 names to be called out. they were supposed to be ian, rafidah, daniel, tristan and eugene. all 5 names were read out though. b4 the whole thing my teacher oso announced the secretary heiman. ian and rafidah are still fighting for the president place, eugene is treasurer, daniel head of welfare and tristan head of publicity. den of all times mrs naidu had to announce the head of logistics when everyone was still cheering and clapping. den suddenly i heard my name called out. den everyone cheered for me. question mark question mark question mark! i din exactly know what happened at tt time. den at tt moment i figured it out. IT WAS SOOOOO UNEXPECTED! oh man. i was deep in shock at tt time! i din even expect myself to be in the exco. i couldn't bring myself to believe tt at tt moment in time but managed to swallow wad had happened after tt. i dunno abt this but i'm starting to think tt God does have a plan for me in this school. is tt a sign? i don't know. and of all the 7 exco members, 5 of us are christians. what does this say man? i think it's by God's grace tt i managed to be an exco member though. have not thanked God for tt yet. will do it tonight. but asking right now what are his plans for me. i juz feel that it is important to know his plans for you before carrying out stuffs so that what u do can glorify Him.

mum bought a new cd yesterday. "God He Reigns" looks cool on the outside and managed to listen to one disc but not to the fullest of my attention due to my busy schedules and the piling of homeworks. juz need strength to carry on with life.

sonicfest approaching! will be going on the friday one. looking forward to it! ooooooo...

oh man investiture is approaching oso! another like 3 weeks to go. i'm feeling very scared abt it right now, afraid tt it might not go on smoothly. 1st rehersal will be on this thursday. hope i do know what to do when we start the rehersal. all the small little stuffs are making me go mad. to add on to investiture will be my school work. i think its more of a testing of my patience by God lar. oh well. i will hope that i can trust in Him fully to help me and see me through.

Father Lord continue to strengthen me and guide me in life tt i may be pleasing unto you. prepare me to face problems and setbacks that can help mould me and change me to the person you want me to be. In Jesus name I pray Amen!

been through so much. thinking alot too! just today when was ushering durin service, ming hui the worship leader spoke a while before starting the whole thing. he told us abt his dream where he was leading a worship and den the powerpoint slides went blank. the reactions he saw was not wad he expected though. people were complaining abt why the slides were not there. he tried to solve it by continuing to sing praises and found out that only a few of them followed him in singing while the rest juz stood there and some even left! he was telling us this " this is not a scene that we are suppose to have" and at tt time i just felt that if something like this happened in service and i'm one of the worshippers, will i be the grp who continued singing, the one who stood there motionless or the one who juz left? well many of us will say tt they will continue singing. but have you thought if that REALLY happened? will you all do wad u say u wld? i dunno abt me but i hope i will.

had a hectic day yest. went to Villa Francis Home to do my CIP. oh man. i cant forget one of the old lady. i was with her in the beginning and since they were abit "slow", they were given things to help their brains. things to play with lar. so this old lady was given a tub with both red and yellow beads. she was suppose to take out the red beads and put them in a basket. ok when she was done, i din know wad else to do. so i put everything back and now asked her to take out the yellow beads. this time... i dunno what happened but she seem to be telling me something. coz she kept taking only 5 beads each time she puts her hand in. i dunno wad tt signifies. each time she took out 5 beads, she turns to me and started toking to me in a dialect tt i did not understand. so i juz had to nod my head and pretend to understand. i somehow felt tt she was trying to tell me tt she had 5 children and all 5 abandoned her. she kept doing the same thing over and over again. i couldn't communicate with her so i cldn't confirm. but soo poor thing right? remembering the past and what their children did. i juz continued interacting with the other old folks and came across 2 ladies. one of which kept asking us to call her granny. we had to make her happy so we juz called. then beside her was this kinda young old folk. thank goodness she was able to speak english. she also was telling us abt the past. oh man. so sad. i remembered one incident there. there was this old lady who was very weak and can't walk properly. so the helper asked her to push the wheelchair till the lift. she managed to push halfway and den the helper asked me to sit on the wheelchair! but i had to assist her though. then as i approached the lift some Singapore Poly students who were there helping out oso laughed at me. oh man! so embarrassing! oh well. at least i helped...

in the afternoon went back to church to have a party for Inez. it was rather simple though. played a lil games and den had snacks. ttz all and went for tuition. it was jasper's birthday tt day too! went his house for bbq and at the same time reunite with my other sec 4 classmates. had a good time but had to leave early due to the fact tt i had to wake up early the next day. miss them though. :)

oh well. so many things happened yest tt i did not have time for God. thank goodness i still managed to keep myself awake on my bed to pray b4 i sleep. oh well. i remembered last time when i used to dislike group prayer coz i was afraid tt i wld not be able to pray good enough and i was rather closed up. now i understand the importance of gathering together to pray. tt is why i thank God tt he has instilled in me a desire to pray more often both individually and in a group. well... been praying for a change in heart since the time i disliked group prayer. ok lar not say disliked lar. just kinda uneasy.

tt uncertain feeling tt i experienced during the start of school term 3 is back again! i just dunno why i keep feeling that way but i just dun feel good abt this issue. i know i shdn't be thinking so much abt it but its just tt i can't stop thinking abt it. someone help me. i'm just afraid it might get over me and control all my feelings. i just wanna know everything right now and den it will stop me from imagining too much or interpreting right stuffs wrong. i tot i alreayd got everything settled but tt uncertainty juz fell on me again! AGAIN! oh well. right now i believe prayers do work and i am trusting that it will work this time. FAITH!

school work. investiture. stress!!! i juz wish everything can just disappear at this moment and i can enjoy life now. but ttz not the case. i believe God will see me through this time though. if u go through jc life u'll understand... as i said in my earlier blogs. haha. oh man. coz of these i've been having less sleep. which means i've been feeling very tired these days. which oso means tt i do not pay tt much attention as i used to in the past to tutorials and lectures. which oso means tt i will fail my mid-course exam which lead to me retaining. oh man. died. i'm sooo afraid of retaining. hafta study hard already! but alot of pressure is from my GP teacher! oh man. i can't stand it lor. keep giving homework tt is like almost impossible to do lar. and somemore so demanding. haiz. oh well. i undertand the importance of GP but its taking too much of my time already. esp the homework part. it seems tt i've only got GP to study for and nothing else. all my homework are like from GP only lar and not from the rest of the subjects. fainted.

Lord Jesus help me to cope with my studies and council work at the same time. Guide me through stress that i may grow to become somemore better in your sight Lord. See me through this time of pain Lord and bless me with your unconditional love. Thank you for changing me and my thinking of group prayer Lord and allow more opportunites to come by. In Jesus name I pray AMEN!

homework... council... homework... council... everything in my head now is abt these. focusing too much on them already and negleting other stuffs. firstly, there is just too much homework. even my weekends are filled with homework lar. and to add to that, council investiture is coming soon! i am suppose to make sure everything runs smoothly. STRESS! that's why haven had the time to blog for the past week.

ok. joined in a prayer grp in sch this week. we meet everyday in the morning before school starts and we just share abt what happen the previous day and give items to pray about. but the thing is that i just dunno why i past few days have been unwilling to go for prayer in the morning. think coz i'm too tired and want to get more sleep. but still, i went for prayer. thank God that i did coz i think these times are essential, esp when there are so many things tt you need God to help you. heard what alison told me today. somewhat i felt a feeling that i seem to be lacking something after all these times. just seem to find that i'm not sharing to the ppl God intended me to share to.

BOUT! i really enjoyed bout! thanks guys for organising it! appreciated all the hard work u all put in! yay! oh well. tt was the 1st time i went to pulau ubin haha! Thank God it didn't rain when the game started. :) many things happened there. we got lost on our 1st station! haha! coz it was like the toughest station to find? ya. it was somewhere inside inside. aiyo! took like 1 hr plus to finally find it. oh man! but oh well. at least we managed to finish 3 stations. haha. still had fun in the end.

this week have been rather busy due to school work and stuff. exception was on wed when i went for the track and field finals at cck stadium. haha! my school took part in 3 events but did not get any medal in the end. haiz. saw the acjc supporters there! they were LOUD. met some ppl like samuel lee, shaun chan, bonnie and sam kwan. haha! oh well. was quite boring lar there. still. wanna say to the girls who represented the school : you did us proud! yeah!

Lord Jesus I ask for your guidance in everything that I do, especially in school work as I can't manage it well. Be with me and see me through this time Lord. Grant me wisdom and strength to overcome any obstacles in front of me and continue to be my leader and my guide. In Jesus name I pray AMEN!

have you ever wondered why do you even believe in God? oh well. i don't really know. brought my classmate to church today. he's a non-christian though. he keeps asking me why i believe in God and somehow i just could not answer him. you know the guy i was talking abt in my other entry? ya. haha. he was quite amused by the worship service though. and when i brought him over to the sec 1 class, eric told me to bring him outside to have a talk while the leaders teach the sec 1s. was rather impressed by how eric approached the whole thing. he din rush through it. he just slowly go through the whole thing and answered calmly those questions asked by him. oh man. ttz the 1st time i saw someone preach the gospal to someone else with such confidence and boldness. i was quite shocked to hear all tt eric said. rather convincing too! he even answered the question tt i posted in my 1st sentence, which i think i forgot. oopz!

oh well. tml got chinese listening compre exam! pray for me ok?

haiz. i just dunno why i feel somewhat like a loner these days. no one come talk to me one. soooo sad. *sobz* oh well. i guess ttz life. accept it then. these days i've been feeling rather tired. don't know why either. oh well. better get more sleep.

oh ya! forgot to blog abt BOUT. oh man. sooo tired now. too lazy to blog. hee. will talk abt it during my next blog entry lar. shd be tomorrow. haha!

Lord Jesus pray that you will guide me through my listening comprehension examination. Grant me the ability to read the questions properly and allow me to hear the passage as clearly as possible. As for my other probelms that I am facing now, pray that you will just guide me through it and allow me to know that you are always there for me no matter what. Thank you Lord and I pray all these in Jesus Name Amen!

oh man! i just came back from fairfield. today had past vs present games. oh man! it was sooooooooo tiring. played soccer. =) heehee. now in the end come home with so many parts of my body aching. esp my head. so pain! argh! oh well. at least my team din lose tt much even though we were the youngest of all the past fairsians. haha! played 4 games and won 1, draw 1 and lost 2. oh well. we were missing some of our stars. we are the team of 4F 2004! yeah! so tired now. can easily sleep the whole night and wake up the next morning at 12 lar. nvm nvm. haha!

today saw so many ex-fairsians haha! great to see them too! and had 2 accidents oso. jasper sprained his ankle when he was running to get water from the water cooler. sad case. seems pain to me. one more was regarding wen han when he was playing capt ball and he was the catcher. someone pushed him off the bench and he landed on his HAND!! oh man!!! wah and when he got up its like can see tt his bone was broken lar! the top of his hand was buldging out. sick!! so serious until an ambulance had to come. wonder how is he now. must pray for him ok? if you know him lar. oh man. still feel the pain for him but he was soooo brave! he din react much after the fall. he juz laid there, cant move his hand and when mr wee came he brought him up and he juz walked to sit down calmly. oh man! respect. heehee.

monday is my chinese oral! argh! i'm sooooo scared!

there's another dinner for graduates! yeah! organised by the parents. IN RAFFLES CITY HOTEL! much much better den the one in school i suppose. yeah. we should have booked a table already. my class tt is. haha! looking forward to tt date man! yay! haha.

Lord please help me as i continue with my school work. commit wen han into your hands! pray for complete healing soon and allow him to concentrate on his studies. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!

i'm so happy! London won the bid for Olympics 2012! oh man! been supporting them throughout. and finally! they're there! yay! oh well. tt doesnt concern me much. wad i'm more happy abt is..... i'm going for acjc investiture! oh man! been looking forward to it for the past few months and finally i got the chance to go there! oh man! ttz great! looking forward to alot of things now! firstly is the past vs present games back in fairfield. then its the bowling on sunday. then is the combined service. then now its the investiture. yay! but oh well. aft tt i hafta suffer with my chinese oral in the afternoon. argh! dying already.

not many things happened to me today since most of my time spent was in school and doing my work. now hafta chiong through my PW! oh man. tt sucks. i'm sure all of you all agree with me right? oh well. ttz y today's post is short. haha!

Lord please see me through my oral and give me the ability to speak fluent chinese. Enable me to cope with my studies at this moment. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!

why do i hafta make my mum upset again? haiz. i understand how she feels and she ought to understand how i feel too! even though i may not project it out. oh well. as soon as i broke to her the news of my results, i thought she would be like scolding me for not studying hard or even banning me from using the computer. well... her reaction was otherwise. i must thank God for giving me such a wonderful and understanding mum! she just sat there and asked me what i intend to do. oh well. i just sat there and look at her... but with some guilt in my mind for not studying hard enough to prove tt i can make it on my own. haiz. i don't know if results had to do with the after-holiday effect. still, i must admit i didn't really study tt hard for this summer test. oh well. the thought of retaining in jc1 just scares me. i really can't afford to retain. i'll lose alot of things! most importantly i'll lose my precious time! better study hard already man! i need some motivation! oh well. hafta find them myself or create something out of nothing.

school was ok today. except for one significant point in time when i tried converting one of my classmates who is a freethinker but more to the buddhist side due to his parents. tried telling him about God but he kept asking me questions like why should i believe there's a God? oh well. ttz not the worse part. he was like telling me that Jesus died and did not rise again. like all christians are living in denial and are decieved by the fact tt He did not rise from the dead. like praying to God is more like finding comfort or calmness to do stuff. oh man! what am i suppose to say? i hafta respect his views afterall coz in this way then he will respect mine. oh well. all i know is tt what he said might have rocked my faith. he asked me, "why do you believe?" i was kinda stunned at tt moment. i was like asking myself tt question too! cause the bible tells me so? but this is like more of a personal question right? its between you and God. but by asking this, is it tt i'm not trusting Him? i'm so confused now! oh well. at least he's willing to come to my church to visit. coming this sunday for my church's anniversary. haiz. maybe its just the lack of bible reading.

decided not to go for founder's day dinner already. mainly coz my mum is unwilling to pay $50 for a buffet dinner in the parade square. no wonder only one person from my class attending it and he's kinda rich too. haha. should be going out with my ex-classmates for dinner on tt day. think i'll be letting my sec sch teachers down? i don't know. oh well. hope they don't mind. hope they understand!

fantastic 4 is like only 2 days away! u guys going to watch it? well. i am! i'm sure its gonna be great!

5 more days to sunday!

Lord please allow me to believe in you after this incident and allow my faith to grow much more! Open up his heart Lord so that i might speak to him without much difficulty and that he might just believe in You! Also enable me to discipline myself so that I'll know when is the time for me to study and when is the time to play. Be with me Lord. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen!

today is youth day. what do youths do on youth day? wake up late and go out with their friends to do what they like to do. oh well. mine was different! hee. i woke up late and went to garden hotel to have buffet lunch with my parents. oh man! the food was good and i was like FULL. haha! din eat my breakfast though. haha! eat until so full tt during dinner time i couldn't eat at all! i loved the pasta! heehee. ate it twice. oh well. hope to go there soon again. later went to causeway point to catch a movie! wow! we watched batman. haha! din know tt it was tt nice! wah! damn cool man! haha! but in the cinema it was like COLD and i was freezing. oh well. hoping to catch fantastic 4 for my next trip to the cinemas. anybody care to watch with me? haha!

hmmm. tomorrow is the start of sch. oh man! i don't wanna go school! it'll be better to stay at home or catch up with church friends. oh well. life has to go on.

ok i'm looking forward to this coming sunday. FMC 39th anniversary! oh man! God has been so good to our church. just 1 year younger than Singapore. haha! taking part in the family bowling thing. oh well. just bowl for the fun of it. haha! was thinking...... are we one of the oldest methodist churches in Singapore? i mean like... if we are... WOW! haha! oh well. dunno lar. just heard tt Wesley Methodist is over 100 years old. haha! oh man we're young. still....... i am sure God has plans for our church. right? one great example is the launching of M06. oh well. i'm sure tt will give all Faithians some motivation to go for one rite? like me! haha! haven't gone for a mission trip yet. I WANT TO GO! time shd be right. i'm sure God wants to change my life in some way or another through mission trips. haha! oh well.

dread going to school. haiz.

Lord Jesus, enable me to change my thinking and allow me to focus on my school work at the present moment. Thank You for seeing FMC through these 39 years and the great things that You have done! Continue to guide us through the next few years so that we may be a church pleasing and acceptable to You. In Jesus name i pray. Amen

finally! my o level cert is in my possession now! but so what. didn't do well either so the cert didn't look nice. thank goodness winnie went back fairfield with me. if not i'll be like so bored there. talked to miss ngoh (mrs chng) and miss thio. abit to mr yaw lar. miss ngoh was like keep asking me to go for the founder's day dinner! BUT my class only got 1 guy going! i mean like it'll be abit stupid to go if no one is going rite? and for goodness sake its $50 for a buffet dinner IN THE PARADE SQUARE OF FAIRFIELD METHODIST SECONDARY SCHOOL! oh well. i don't know whether i should pay the $50 and go or just go out with my ex-classmates and eat outside. after the 2 years tt my teachers had taught us, i feel that i should at least just go for the dinner and talk to them. but my classmates are holding me back. oh well. most probably i'll go though. just to make my teachers happy. if not later miss thio say all those stuff abt our class.

played soccer on saturday and i think i hurt my leg. i feel pain just by lifting my bottom part of my leg. oh well.

ok these few days i have been feeling much better, not letting tt matter disturb me tt often. learnt to try to accept things tt God has planned for me, and at the same time asking him why though. oh well. but i have not been reading the bible! oh no! better discipline myself. wow today sermon talked alot about the holy spirit. oh man. richard's sermon was really powerful! the part about the worldly chirstian really tell me alot. telling me first and foremost to put God 1st and allow him to provide us with the rest rather than we thinking about ourselves and thinking about the things tt we possess. it somehow describes me. oh well. guess i have to allow God to fill me with the holy spirit.

Samantha Kwan! thanks for helping me with the giving out of bulletin today! if not i don't know how i going to manage it! oh well. quite last minute too. thanks yunying oso! haha! oh well. sam look great today! haha! shirt and jeans. pretty sia. haha! sam if you reading this you better thank ur kor for complimenting you leh! haha!

Father Lord overflow me with your holy spirit that I might get to know you more and that I will be able to fill your presence everywhere I go no matter through thick or thin. Enable us to empty ourselves and let You cleanse us and fill us with the ever dependable holy spirit! In Jesus name I pray Amen!