It was a painful experience for me. I went in at about 2pm. Lied on the bed for about an hour before my doctor attended to me. She told me the whole procedure was very short, but it seemed so long to me. As I was lying there, I kept calling out for God to hold my hand. I was sure He was there. Hence I carried on in peace. I remembered the doctor dripping a few numbing eye drops before carrying on with the whole thing.
1st she put a wire to keep my eyes open at all times, and then she took out a small blade and started scrapping off some stuff of my cornea. I couldn't feel anything, but I could see some stuff clustering at the tip of my eyes as she scrapped. At that time I knew that it would definitely hurt after this numbing thing is gone. After that, they proceeded to push me into another room to put eye drops. Now my eyes couldn't feel anything, but it was like torture. It was required that they put this yellow eye drop into my eye every 2 minutes for 30 mins. At this pt in time my eyes were sort of "dead" and I couldn't really open my eyes, and they kept making me open my eyes every 2 mins to put the drop. It was so frustrating.
Next, they pushed me into another room to carry on with this thing. They shone this UV light straight into my eyes for another 30 mins. Well of course they put the wire to keep my eyes open. It was crazy looking at it for 30 mins. It didn't help that my back was hurting like crazy at that time. After everything, it was about 5.30 and they pushed me out. I couldn't feel anything with my eyes, not at that moment though, and I thought it was going to be alright. When I went home, the pain came. I couldn't take it, ate 2 panadols and went to sleep straight away. It wasn't that bad today.
All in all, I want to thank God for seeing me through this whole thing. I worried for nothing. Also are the people whose messages before everything encouraged me. =) Thanks to Megan, Elisabeth, Yongzhi, Kenneth, Damien, Megan's mum. I appreciate it. =)
*I'm even struggling like crazy when I'm typing these out. Haiz.*
I may have found out something that I didn't think I wanted to know during YMLC, but if it ever changes anything, then good for me. But, I don't think I have the knowledge or anything to deal with it.
I cried myself to sleep. Why? Because I was so afraid. I was so uncertain. I was so unsure. Didn't God promise He will always be with me? Then why am I feeling like this? I didn't know what to expect. What if it doesn't go as well as I wanted it to? I kept thinking of the risks involved. They just block out my whole mind.
There's something thats still confusing me quite a little. Worry begins with a thought, and you have to get rid of that thought. But if there's something coming up that's quite big, and as the day approaches, you know that your mind is bound to have thoughts of it. You can't deny the fact that it's approaching. How do we clear our minds of that thought? It's just so tough. Yes I know the knowledge and stuff, but when it comes down to actions, I find it very hard to do it, or more so I don't know how to do it.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will we not fear, tough the earth do change. And though the mountains be shaken into the heart of the seas. Though the waters thereof roar and be trouble. though the mountains tremble with the swelling thereof. There is a river, the streams whereof make glad the city of God. The holy place of the tabernacles of the Most High. God is in the midst of her. She shall not be moved: God will help her and that right early. The nations raged, the kingdoms moved: He uttered his voice, the earth melted. Jehovah of hosts s with us: The God of Jacob is our refuge. Come, behold the works of Jehovah. What desolations he hath made in the earth. He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth. He breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder;He burneth the chariots in the fire. Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Jehovah of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge. This is my cry Lord. Amen.
