Sometimes I really wonder if I worry too much. So much things have gone through my head, without any answers being shown to me at all. It was only like a few days ago when I realised that everything that I'm worrying about is stupid and pointless, yet I'm still troubled by it. Maybe its just due to my own selfish ambition or whatsoever, but I hate being like this. I want to feel assured. I want to know that everything is alright, just as it was in the past. But sometimes people do not realise that its soooooo difficult. How can we even start to understand why all these are going on. It's just stupid thinking on my part again I guess. I really don't know why. Maybe I'm just being sensitive? Or maybe paranoid? Why can't I get this kind of thing right in my life? I feel like shit. But thanks to those who know what I'm going through, cause they've been there for me and made me happy. =)

I sometimes can't help it but envy some people. Them having such a wonderful relationship with God, treating Him as their Daddy, their friend, their comforter, their lover. I don't know why I can't do that. Maybe its because I'm not close to God at all!? Maybe that's why I'm still unsure of so many things! All I can say about myself is that right now, I'm living a sucky life. I'm selfish.