It was during a church service when I felt a nudge from God. But somehow everything was quickly ignored once I stepped out of church. Something's wrong.

I realised there're 2 kinds of Christians. Well, I guess both are similiar in a way that they accepted Christ in their lives. The difference would be how 1 kind would really go all out to be close to God and treat Him as their personal friend, while the other just treats Him as someone who helps you when you are in trouble. I'm really guilty of being the 2nd kind, and yes I'm determined to change to become the 1st kind, but it takes alot of passion and eagerness to be one. I can say I don't have that kind of passion right now. I hope I do find it soon. 

I've kept on saying I want to change, but I end up not changing. People may say its all about discipline. But I beg to differ. It doesn't take discipline to cause you to talk to God. It takes desperation, eagerness. Sadly I don't have any of that.